I’m going on a journey — within.
I’m taking a year to explore the different archetypes of gay, male spirituality and discover how they apply to me. I’m keeping a record — a journal — of my discoveries, and I hope to share them here, so others can follow.
This is territory largely unexplored. Conventional religion excludes and ignores us. Religious fanatics shun and persecute us because of our capacity to love. There are those who don’t want to make room for gay spirituality, citing outdated scripture founded on body and human shame. And yet, the ancestors of men-who-love-men beckon; they call to other men-who-love-men and whisper, “Come, this is how we worship…this is how we love.”
My teachers are the wise elders who came before me. They mapped the territory and now is my turn to follow. I am well equipped and supplied. I have the support of the brothers of the Unnamed Path, and I have the writings of spiritual warriors who left a legacy of wisdom I am to learn from. My ancestors, on whose shoulders I stand, are patiently waiting for me to take my first steps. Guides and protectors are ready to point the way and help me through dark nights of the soul.
This is a journey of initiation, of trials, of discovery. Mine is no different a journey than that of monks sequestered on a lonely island off the coast of Ireland, or truth seekers in the heart of the Amazon. This is a journey of a soul searching for answers to questions long asked but not forgotten.
In the journey I hope to meet the characters, tricksters, shadows, and helpers spoken of in sacred literature. These are the people Joseph Campbell told us we’d find in myths, legends, and fables. My goal is to find the ones that resonate with gay men in particular, and the ones who have something to teach me. I hope to meet the Magic Boy who glories in himself and the world around him; the Elder who imparts lessons of a lifetime; the Sacred Androgyne who blends the strengths of male and female; the Lover, he who everyone seeks, the mysterious twin who transforms reality with soulful passion; the Shaman/Healer whose inner guidance taps the secrets of life and death; the Warrior who calls on the strength of intention, stillness, and action; and the Explorer, the inventor god who serves his people and helps the world. I want to worship at the feet of the Black Madonna and learn how the sacred feminine nurtures the gay male. I want to go in search of the Blue Man and learn the wisdom he has to offer in today’s world. I want a journey full or meaning and richness that offsets the vacuous, vapid offerings of the American god, Media.
This is an experiential journey…it can’t be read or studied. It must be taken and followed to its end. It requires me to be gentle, flexible, open, and willing to see the world in a different way. This means that old ways of being, of acting, of behaving do not apply anymore. The landscape will be different and the tests rigorous. Self-criticism and beating myself up will not work. Rather, learning to be vulnerable, open, authentic, and curious will help me get farther, faster, than anything I’ve done before. But for every step taken, I am certain that angels take ten steps to meet me. The evidence will be found in coincides, synchronicity, and unexpected surprises that help me realize I’m on the right course.
We each have a path to follow. Mine is a mythic journey of exploration that delves into mysteries, dreams, and the subconscious. It’s a way for me to grow and learn how I can live the rest of my life free from old fears. Mine is a personal journey I hope to map so that those who follow are also able to find their way.