Rant #1

As a man of a certain age, I’ve earned my right to rant about things that bother me. I don’t have to explain myself for my complaints. They just are. And just like some late night talk shows have their “midnight confessions” or top ten lists, this will probably be the first of many posts, as men of a certain age are certain to complain until…well, there’s nothing to complain about. Without further preamble:

  1. I’m not on Facebook because I like to; I’m on Facebook because friends with AOL e-mail accounts force me to.
  2. I don’t get my news from posts people share on their timelines; I get my news from real news sources.
  3. Men’s is not the plural form of men.
  4. Gossip is not news; it’s fake news.
  5. Pundits are not reporters; pundits are gossips.
  6. Writing cursive is not the same as a curse; reading someone’s cursive can feel like a curse, however.
  7. The answer to the question Sup? is tomato. Sup is a contraction for the word soup.
  8. A talk show is just that: talk.
  9. Billy Idol’s song, Dancing with Myself is about masturbation; Eyes Without a Face is about tits.
  10. FOX News is neither a fox nor news; foxes should feel offended by the association.
  11. Christians should not judge; when they do, they should not call themselves Christian.
  12. The moral majority is neither moral nor the majority.
  13. Roxette is not and was never an updated version of ABBA; there’s no one like ABBA.
  14. The word millenials sounds like a name for a bacteria; given my encounters with both I’d say yes, it is.
  15. The New Age movement should now call itself the Old Joint Age Lack-of movement.
  16. Avenger’s Infinity War is just that…infinitely long and only the first of more to come.
  17. Being able to say the words, “I told you so,” should have a three day expiration date.

That’s all. For now.